Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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