whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
