someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize