I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
