I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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