someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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