Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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