I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize