Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
