don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
