Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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