Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
