Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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