THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
