your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize