Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
