so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
