remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
