Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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