Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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