Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
