i think my mom watched the whole time
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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