he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
