ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
