he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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