Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
