If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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