i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
