i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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