oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
