So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
