If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
