Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
