I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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