3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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