u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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