omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
