don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
