He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize