Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize