Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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