apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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