why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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