i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
did i just pee glitter
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
