boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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