So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I touched a dick in church today
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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