I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
