Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
