HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
