I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
