Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
