so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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