you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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