Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
