I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
why do cheetos always look like penises
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
